Being divorced when the holidays come around can be difficult especially if you’re newly divorced. It can make you want to go back to that place of cozy memories and good ole times. It can feel like a trap and even worse it can make you behave in a way you don’t like.
Comparing then to now, comparing the old you to the new you, usually without giving yourself proper credit for all your hard work on the transition.
It’s a necessary part of the healing process.
What starts to happen is that we only remember what we want to remember. Because of that, it feels natural or obvious that to get that feeling of what you’re remembering you should reach out to your ex, take your ex’s invitation to do “whatever” (wink, wink), or find someone that can offer something “like” what you had.
The thing that gets overlooked is that you will get more of exactly what you already left behind. This validates a cycle you worked so hard to get out of.
Your uncomfortableness with life after divorce has to mean more to you than the ease of going backward,
Have a bigger vision for yourself that you’re invested in is the only way to move forward. Going backward will always look more appealing.
Moving backward always has less resistance because there are no obstacles… you already crushed them! That’s why moving forward requires more of you.
Your vision to move on after your divorce in a significant way means that you have made the decision to yourself to create a vision bigger than your past.
It’s like knowing a million dollars is waiting for you in your future and then going to re-apply for an old job where you made less money. You wouldn’t do that!
You’d start to prepare for your million dollars. You’d take care of yourself differently, you’d speak differently, you’d act differently, you’d love differently too.
It’s the same with moving on after divorce to attract the love you want. Your love is waiting for you. It’s always waiting for you.
But you have to meet it. You can’t meet it going backward or going in circles.
Here’s a solution that will help. Join my facebook group Empowerment After Divorce.
It’s ONLY for women. I love that I get to help divorced women create their vision for their life after divorce & help them thrive after divorce.
Empowerment after divorce is a safe space for inspiration, to share and begin carving out your vision.
It’s a space for women that want to do more than survive divorce, they want to thrive! See ya there.