Here’s a quick way to know. Does your list of your ideal man look anything like this?
Then your standards are too high.
On the other hand, if you’ve never made a list because you have no clue what you’d expect or want in a man, then your standards aren’t high enough.
Either way, it creates the opposite effect of what you want.
If your standards are too high;
👉Your list has wayyyyy too many things to keep track of. If that list isn’t memorized to where you can spout it off in 8 seconds, you need to throw it out ASAP.
Narrow that list down to your 3-5 most important things you NEED in a man (5 is the absolute max). Wants can change & sometimes your wants are influenced by outsiders. After you narrow down your top 5, then review and ask yourself “Does this match what I want in a man?“
It should go along with what you want.
👉Second, a list that long is a wall.
Yes, a wall. You’re using your long list as an excuse to not date or flee and not deal with any flaws, including your own flaws.
That was me for several years.
I kept a freaking word document that was at least 2 pages long of my ideal man. I had so many traits listed it looked like a gift registry for Target. When I look back I’m like no wonder I was exhausted. Keeping up with that thing was a mini job.
What I was really doing was blocking love from coming in. Instead of getting out, meeting men, and being open to getting to know them, as well as myself, I’d avoid dealing with the real issue.
The excuses I used were: “He doesn’t have all the things on my list“; “I don’t think it’s going to work because he didn’t have number 3, 6, 12, 15, or 18″. I finally threw out that toxic word document and I focused on my 3 most important values.
If I can narrow my ideal man gift registry from 2 pages to the 3 most important traits, you absolutely can do it.
✨I challenge you in the upcoming week to narrow down that list to 3-5 things you NEED in a man.
If your standards aren’t high enough;
👉You’re scared to make a decision because you think you could get it wrong.
👉You don’t think you deserve to ask or expect amazing qualities in a man.
👉or you believe that you’ll cut off too many opportunities if you were firm on the values you NEED in a man.
Either way, it’s not giving you what you want. It’s time to change that. By not defining what you need in a man your indecision is your decision and it blocks love from coming in.
Indecision feels like a way to protect yourself but it actually keeps you in a holding pattern. This is not your essence. Your essence is to make powerful decisions, get the love you deserve and want so you can thrive.
If your standards aren’t high enough your challenge for the upcoming week is to get clear on what you want.
✨Write out your ideal day and describe how a day with your special man is making you feel. Then review what you wrote and circle the things that really stand out to you. Those are the things you need in a man to feel loved.
There is no such thing as a perfect person but there is someone that’s right for you. They will fit with you like great pair of shoes. But even a great pair of shoes won’t have everything.
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Farrah, I’m your Love Coach